


Infallible

by NotEvenThat



Series: Canon Based Fics [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 2x18, Canon Compliant, Episode: s02e18 Awake Arise Or Be Forever Fallen, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 13:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11647509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenThat/pseuds/NotEvenThat
Summary: “You’re an all powerful warlock. You summon demons. You’ve lived through centuries of war-”Alec doesn’t look away from the ceiling but his voice falters for a moment, audibly catching on the next sentence. “-and you’re immortal... What scares you?”Magnus admits some of his fears to Alec and without even trying to, Alec diminishes the fears he was too scared to say out loud.





	Infallible

“What are you afraid of?”

The second Alec asked the question, Magnus knew that he was serious but the response rolled off his tongue anyway, deflecting the question before he knew how he would answer it honestly. “Acid washed jeans.”

His eyes flicker to Alec’s, both of them staring at each other for a moment before Alec sighed out, “Come on, Magnus,” both of their faces flickering in a smile. Alec rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling, his arms crossing over his chest comfortable, his eyes staring in a way that lets Magnus know he's thinking about something he’s thought about many times before.  

“I’m serious.” His mouth still lingers in a smile but he keeps talking, the honest interest and comfort resonating on his face. Weeks ago, he had looked nervous anytime anything was brought up that he thought was too personal. He was scared of asking Magnus something he didn’t want to answer, bring up something Magnus didn’t want to talk about but now, he was sprawled out in Magnus’s bed, knowing that he could ask whatever he wanted and that Magnus would answer him. “You’re an all powerful warlock. You summon demons. You’ve lived through centuries of war-”

Alec doesn’t look away from the ceiling but his voice falters for a moment, audibly catching on the next sentence. “-and you’re immortal.” He falls silent and the air around them rests heavy. Magnus knows that they’re both thinking about Camille and what she had said that night in Magnus’s apartment; Something that Magnus never wants to think about in bed with Alexander.

Alec shifts and turns to look at Magnus before asking, “What scares you?”

The way he asked it, Magnus knew how he must look to Alec; Powerful, old, experienced. He’d lived Alec’s life twenty times over. He’d seen the rise of technology and watched as new branches of science emerged from nothing. He’d fought in wars before Alec was born and he played a crucial role in a war that shaped Alec’s childhood. He summoned demons that Alec fought on a daily basis and made deals with them. His magic was capable of things that Alec probably didn’t even comprehend.

He must look infallible to Alec. He must looked like everything.

Magnus opened his mouth and then slowly closed it. What was he scared of? How could he possibly answer that question? How could he sum up four centuries worth of fear?

Magnus was scared of eternity. He was scared that someday, he was going to wake up and like so many warlocks before him, he was going to feel nothing at all. He was scared that life was going to become monotonous. He was scared that he was going to lose himself. He was scared that time was going to shift his morals and his personality until someday, Magnus would become the person he would have fought against centuries before.

He was scared of being left behind. He was scared that everyone he knew would leave him, even those who he thought would stay forever. He was scared that every connection he ever made was going to end like Ragnor had. He was scared that he was going to wake up completely alone someday and  _still_ , he wasn’t going to be granted death.

He was scared that Alec would look at him someday and whatever image he had crafted of Magnus in his head was going to fall, and he was going to realizes how awful of a person Magnus truly was.

He was scared that someday, he was going to have to choose between Alec and the war that they all knew was coming. He was scared that Alec was going to face the same decision and he was scared because knew that Alec would choose his duty over anything else because it was the  _right_ thing to do.

Magnus wasn’t selfish enough to believe that Alec would choose him over the world.

He shook his head and then met Alec’s gaze again, “I’m scared of ferris wheels.” He said softly, his face nothing but completely serious.

Alec didn’t react for a second and then his face lit up in a disbelieving smile, “Magnus-”

“I’m serious!” Magnus insisted, cutting Alec off before he could mock Magnus’s very real fear. “They scare me! I remember when they were first made and they were terrifying! Etta made me go on one and I panicked the whole time! My fear doesn’t bleed away just because they’re safer now!” Magnus remembered how excited Etta had been. He remembered her insisting that if something did go wrong, Magnus could save them with his magic. He remembered clenching his eyes shut the whole ride and trying to hold back the panic he felt, until they’d landed on the ground again and Magnus had promptly thrown up.

Alec stared for a few long seconds, like he was trying to decided if he was being lied to or not. “You’re not kidding, are you?” He said slowly, smiling even more as Magnus shook his head no. “You’re scared of ferris wheels? You’re-”

Magnus fell back against the bed, his eyes not meeting Alec’s overjoyed smile. “Humans were not made to go that high in the sky. I don’t care if it's safe. It’s unnatural.”

“Magnus, you’re a warlock-” For a moment, Magnus’s heart sank. He thought Alec was going to leave it at that.  _You’re a warlock. You’re the most unnatural thing in the world and you’re scare of heights?_ But he didn’t, of course, he didn’t. “I’m a shadowhunter. You use magic every day and I use runes on my body to give me power but ferris wheels are unnatural?”

Alec laughed into his pillow as Magnus fiercely defended his position. When he fell silent, Alec watched him for a moment and then leaned forward and caught Magnus’s lips on his. Hours later, Alec  _did_  have to return to the Institute but Magnus watched him walk out the door and he knew, over everything else, that Alexander and him were going to be fine, despite whatever the world was going to throw at them.

They were going to be fine. They had to be because nothing in the world had ever felt as right as waking up in Alexander’s arms and laughing about his fears. Nothing. 

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the promo and couldn't help but write something before work.


End file.
